And You Said it was Impossible
by Queen of Gambitia Minion
Summary: Mastermind gets fed up with Magneto and plots revenge, while Gambit, Pyro, and Colossus are pulled into the chaos hiatus
1. The everimportant setup!

Minion's back! Be happy for her!

Well, sorry I took so long to post this after finishing "WWMT?" Major computer/virus/crashing/burning issues. This was saved on the computer that died, and it was a shitload of work to get it back, so I could have posted it months ago, had my computer cooperated. Not that any of you care.

On another note, I just _know_ I somehow screwed up Mastermind's powers, but it's not like anyone knows what he can and can't do so...creative liberty!

OOO

Magneto was _not _having a good day.

Unlike most of his bad days, this one was _not_ caused by the Acolyte's all-too-evident stupidity, or the constant reminders that every mission he concocted, no matter how well planned, always failed. No, today's badness came from an entirely different source.

He had a _terrible_ headache.

Now, one may think that a headache is not cause to label the entire day bad. And, in truth, it wasn't the headache itself that was to blame. No, it was the fact that Magneto had woken up with the damned thing pounding behind his eyes for no reason he could think of. It was the fact that when he went to find some aspirin, he discovered it all gone, Colossus and Gambit having taken it all because of the overly loud, incessant punk rock blaring from Pyro's room. It was the fact that all of the stores had closed because of some obscure Russian holiday. It was the fact that Colossus refused to move boxes around because of said Russian holiday.

The list went on.

Magneto's last nerve was shot. He had had _enough_. He was in absolutely no mood to deal with any crap from his Acolytes. The majority of them understood this, and gave him a wide berth. Pyro stayed in his room, doing God-only-knows what (his stereo had been forcibly removed by Magneto). Colossus also stayed in his room, drawing pretty pictures. Gambit sat in the kitchen playing solitaire. Sabertooth, as usual, had gone out to do Sabertooth stuff.

In fact, the only mutant who was out and about was Mastermind. Unfortunately, he hadn't been with the Acolytes all that long, and thus he had no idea how to react to Magneto's different moods. It was no fault of his own; had he been with the team a little longer, he would have certainly known not to make Mistake Number One.

"Um, Magneto, sir? I was wondering if I could talk to you?" Mastermind nervously approached his irate leader. Magneto grumbled something unintelligible in response. Taking this as a good sign, Mastermind continued speaking.

"Well, I was wondering if it would be possible to switch room assignments, because sharing a room with Sabertooth is, well, disturbing, and...quite frankly he scares me and--" Mastermind trailed off at a strange sound coming from Magneto.

Magneto had been turned away from Mastermind. Now he swung slowly around, giving Mastermind a bit of a shock. The normally immaculate Magneto's eyes were red and bloodshot, his hair was unkempt, and a five o'clock shadow had started to creep onto his face. His clothes were wrinkled, and a ketchup stain was visible on his right sleeve. Normally invisible wrinkles had decided to make themselves known, making Magneto look older, crueler, and more twisted than ever.

In short, the man in front of Mastermind looked _nothing_ like Magneto. Maybe some sort of drunken, demented hobo, but not Magneto. Mastermind timidly backed up, disconcerted both by his leader's appearance and the slightly murderous gleam in his eyes.

"Um, perhaps I should return later?" Mastermind was at the door.

"Do you think that would be a good idea, Mastermind?" Magneto asked with false kindness.

"Yes sir," Mastermind answered frightfully.

"WELL THEN WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Magneto roared, his face turning scarlet. Mastermind nodded hurriedly and sprinted from the room, Magneto's curses and threats ringing off the metal hallway. Mastermind winced at some of the more creative ones.

OOO

Mastermind threw open the door to the room he and Sabertooth shared, glad for the safety the room provided. Well, at least for all the safety a room inhabited by Sabertooth_ could_ provide. Fortunately for Mastermind, Sabertooth had yet to return from where ever he had gone.

Mastermind sat on his bed, for once not disturbed by the carcasses of small animals strewn about the room, or the horrid scent they gave off. As soon as his heart stopped pounding, Mastermind realized something.

He was sick and tired of Magneto constantly pushing him around. As soon as that thought was concrete in his head, he set to work planning a way to get revenge.

An idea struck him, and in the silence of his room, Mastermind cackled evilly.

OOO

Magneto woke slowly the next morning. He could still feel the echoes of the headache in his mind, and a twinge of annoyance made his closed eyes narrow. He reached up to his face and blearily scratched an itch on his cheek. That was odd, it felt almost like he had a beard coming in. He couldn't remember if he'd shaved yesterday.

Magneto almost fell out of bed as he tried to rise. He caught himself at the last minute, and stumbled into the bathroom. He splashed water onto his face to wake himself before examining his reflection in the mirror.

OOO

A loud, ceaseless, and incredibly annoying scream woke Remy LeBeau. After a moment, he recognized it as Magneto's, and wondered sleepily who Magneto was going to kill _this_ time.

"GAMBIT!" That answered _that_ question. Remy sighed and buried his face in his pillow as he wondered what he had done this time.

"GAMBIT! Get up _NOW_!" Magneto's second screech echoed in the silence. Remy, deciding he wouldn't get back to sleep anyway, opened his eyes.

He was very startled to find himself in the bathroom, staring at the mirror, his face contorted in an expression of panic he didn't share. That changed quickly as he became aware of another presence within his mind.

"So nice of you to join the living, Gambit! Care to explain what I'm doing in your body?" Remy's voice rang in Remy's ears, condescending and cold. It was disconcerting to hear his voice saying things he would never say in a strange, accent-less tone he would never use. He did nothing for several seconds, too shell-shocked to do anything.

He got an even bigger surprise when he realized he had no control over his body.

A silent scream echoed in both men's minds, unheard by anyone else. Both men winced, Magneto visibly and Gambit mentally. Gambit, having discovered he could "talk" mentally, voiced his opinion.

_(What the hell are you doing in _my_ body?)_

"You act as if I _want_ to be here!" Magneto retorted angrily before he remembered last night. Mastermind! That little swine of a man must have caused this!

Turning on his heel, Magneto steered Gambit's body out of the room.

That little telepathic freak was going to pay.

OOO

Please read and review, as I'm not sure if I like it or not. And I have three or four more chapters written that I could post _really_quick if I thought people were interested...:hint hint:

On another, somewhat odd note, this story was written out of a deep desire to write Magneto/Gambit slash. Unfortunately, I can't write romance to save my life, so this will have to do (if anyone can point me to any Magneto/Gambit slash I'd be very happy)


	2. More stuff about nothing

**I'm posting this really quick, so I can't do shout-outs, but thanks to the three people reviewed! I love you and will shout-out when I have time.**

_(This is telepathy, just so you know)_

**Disclaimer: It's a kill instinct.**

OOO

Mastermind woke that morning with a terrible headache, most likely caused by his revenge last night. Then again, it could have been the explosions echoing of off the metal walls of the base, or the screams of frustration and rage that always followed them.

Mastermind yawned and turned over, fully intending to sleep through whatever insanity Pyro had decided to create today.

OOO

"Gambit, please tell me how to turn your powers off!"

_(I don't know! I just _do_ it! It's instinct or something!)_

Magneto cursed as his/Gambit's glowing hands accidentally brushed against a wall and he inadvertently charged said wall. Magneto could only roll his/Gambit's eyes as he waited for the inevitable "boom."

OOO

Another explosion shook the base. Mastermind wondered idly if Pyro had decided to be the absolute craziest he could be, or if Gambit was in a really foul mood.

Deciding it didn't really matter, Mastermind went back to sleep, pausing only to brush a dead squirrel off the edge of his bed.

OOO

Gambit/Magneto walked carefully down the hall towards Mastermind and Sabertooth's room, hands held out in front of him/them to avoid any more accidental explosions.

Pyro chose to walk by at that precise moment.

"If I may ask, what the 'ell are you doin'?" Pyro grinned in amusement.

"Pyro, go fetch Mastermind! I need to have a word with him!" Magneto commanded. However, since Magneto was inhabiting Gambit's body, and Pyro had no knowledge of this, Pyro heard Gambit bossing him around in an accent-less voice.

"Whut got into you, mate? Where'd your accent go?" Pyro's grin was replaced with a look of confusion.

"You imbecile. I'll deal with you later," Magneto stormed off, still completely in control of Gambit's body. Pyro looked after him in confusion.

_(You know, you could've explained what was going on,) _Gambit's "voice" told Magneto.

"I can't do that! Everyone will think I've gone mad! It would be horrible for recruitment, 'come join the crazy guy who thinks he's in his lackey's body!'"

_(Wrong, everyone will think** I've** gone mad, you're in **my** body, remember?)_

"How could I forget? You remind me every two seconds. Good Lord, I must be insane...perhaps I should call Charles..."

_(Homme, if you think you're crazy, you probably ain't. And how's about we talk to Mastermind first? Get him to undo whatever it was he did?)_

"Yes, yes, go talk to Mastermind..." Magneto muttered. It struck him as slightly odd that Gambit was being the voice of reason, but he let it slide.

OOO

Mastermind finally woke up when his door exploded, revealing a very angry-looking Gambit.

"Mastermind! Perhaps you could explain what you did to me last night?" Magneto growled angrily.

_(That sounds so wrong.)_

Mastermind chuckled to himself as his telepathy picked up Gambit's comment.

"I'm waiting for an explanation, Mastermind," Magneto said.

"Right, right," Mastermind said, "Well, since you treated me like crap last night, I decided that you needed to be punished, so I put your mind in Gambit's body."

_(And what did Gambit do to deserve this!)_

"I've never liked you. You're too...pretty," Mastermind explained.

"Who gave you the right to punish me, the Master of Magnetism!" Magneto growled.

"Who gave you the right to treat me like an inferior?"

"I'm the Master of Magnetism!"

"So? I'm the Master of Illusions!"

"I'm stronger than you! Illusions are just that, illusions, easily destroyed with enough mental effort. Magnetism holds the world together! Without it, we'd all die and geese would crash into each other in the sky!" Magneto argued.

"SO! Without...um...imagination, we'd all die too!" Mastermind yelled knavishly.

_(No, we'd just be really boring,)_ Gambit remarked as he joined the argument.

"Enough!" Magneto shouted, "Whatever your reasons, Mastermind, I'mdemanding that you return me to my proper body!"

"How about...no?" Mastermind said, sounding amazingly like an impudent child.

"How DARE you! I'm the Master of Magnetism!"

_(Here we go again...)_

"And I'm sure that somewhere, there are people who care," Mastermind retorted.

"I've had just about enough of your sass, Mastermind!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes. I have half a mind to kill you right now."

_(Would both of you just shut up? This is going nowhere!)_

"I'd like to see you try!"

"Would you? That could be arranged..."

_(SHUT UP!)_ Gambit screamed mentally. Mastermind and Magneto winced.

_(Now, howzabout Mastermind puts Magneto back where he belongs--)_

"--You mean in the deepest circle of hell?"

"_This_ close to killing you, Mastermind. This close," Magneto warned as he held up two fingers.

_(I told you both to shut up! Mastermind puts Magneto back in his body, and Magneto promises to be nice to Mastermind from now on,)_ Gambit finished.

"I want that in writing!" Mastermind demanded.

"I'm not going to be nice after he did _this_ to me!"

The argument raged on for some time after that. Gambit gave up on trying to be peacekeeper and just sat back. He figured that they'd have to stop arguing eventually. His one concern was that all of Magneto's screaming was going to make his sexy voice hoarse, but that didn't seem to likely.

He honestly didn't think they could shout it out for quite that long.

OOO

**Review please!**


	3. The Dangling Conversation

Well...I've been been a horrible little updater...maybe I'm punishing all the lurkers for NOT REVIEWING! Heh heh...

A treat for all of the good people who DID REVIEW!

**unForgiVingTearS**- Thanks for the review! You make me happy. And Pyro showed up last chapter, but I'm planning on using him (and Piotr) more (not like I plan, but I bet it'll happen)

**Pyro Lady**- Thanks for your faith, as I'm not sure where this is going or how good it's going to be when it gets there...but it's nice to knowsomeone doesn't think I'll screw this up.

**StormShadow**- Thanks, I wasn't sure whether I liked that part or not. It seemed a little too cliche to me, but then I'm anal about stuff like that, so I was probably overreacting.

I found the line button. I'm so proud of myself.

* * *

Roughly two hours ageRemy's voice had gone out because Magneto had screamed it hoarse. Mastermind had then taken full advantage of his telepathy and continued the verbal battle telepathically. 

Now, three hours later, the fight finally seemed to be coming to a close. Mastermind's telepathic efforts had exhausted him, and withoutMastermind's telepathy Magneto couldn't say anything, since he'd worn out Gambit's voice.

Mastermind and Magneto stared at each other for several seconds, before Magneto spun Gambit's body around with a loud growl and winced at the pain said growl caused.

_(Well, all in all, I think that went _really _well!)_ Gambit snorted, doing the mental equiavalent of rolling his eyes.

_(Just shut up,)_ Magneto ordered back, not daring to use Gambit's damaged vocal cords again.

_(I mean, come on, let's count what we won! My voice is gone because you stood there screaming at Mastermind for a good two or three hours, which you can do because you were INSIDE MY BODY, which you still ARE, by the way. I think I should get some say in what you do with MY BODY, seeing as how it is MY BODY,)_ Remy went on.

_(I mean it, Gambit; I will not tolerate any backtalk from you!)_ Magneto warned.

_(I won't 'tolerate' you destroying my body!)_ Remy snapped back.

_(So your voice is gone! It isn't as if you could use it anyway!)_ Magneto angrily pointed out. He/Gambit stomped into the kitchen and pulled the cough syrup out of the cabinet, then took a swig straight from the bottle.

_(You drink straight from the carton? Gross,)_ Remy said.

"I'm going to go call Charles," Magneto announced aloud, as the cough syrup had coated his throat, thus making it possible for him to talk.

_(Wonderful. I'm sure _that_ will be a _great_ help!)_

"Are you always this sarcastic?" Magneto asked.

_(Are you always so uptight?)_ Magneto/Gambit walked into Magneto's study.

Sitting down behind his desk, Magneto reached for the phone and pressed '1,' which was Charles' number on the speed dial.

"Hello, this is Charles Xavier speaking," Xavier answered on the third ring.

"Charles? It's so good to hear your voice. I'm convinced that I am surrounded by idiots and maniacs," Magneto said. But he said it in Gambit's voice.

"May I inquire as to who is speaking?" Xavier asked, unable to place the voice.

"It's me, Charles, who else would it be?" Magneto asked, forgetting that Xavier could only hear Gambit's voice.

_(You're in my body, dipshit!)_

_(I don't approve of that language, Gambit!)_ Magneto mentally snapped back.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I know who you are," Xavier said. He was beginning to think that this was some sort of prank call.

"It's me, Magnus—"

"It this some sort of joke?" Xavier interrupted, "I think I could recognize the voice of one of my closest friends!"

"Let me explain, Charles—" Magneto scowled as Xavier hung up.

_(Well, that went well.)_

"Shut up."

* * *

My problem of lacking a plot is happening again...must...get...plot... 

Disclaimer- Once there was a magical cow. It was so magical that everyone was happy. So happy, in fact, that no one ever did anything bad and everything was peachy. Then, one day, randomly, the cow died, and the world came crashing down.

PLEASE REVIEW! I swore I wouldn't beg...but I NEED reviews!

I'll give a cookie to anyone who knows what the chapter name is referencing. People who don't know can call the people who do know nerds.


	4. Alien Abductions

**This chapter almost didn't exist. I got really bored with the story and wasn't getting many reviews, so it almost died. But it didn't. Not yet. Please notice the subtle threat.**

**If anyone has any ideas they'd like to share, I'd be glad to hear them.**

**Also, I'm planning to upload a bunch of one-shots…eventually. So watch for them, pwetty please?**

**And, apparently no one here listens to Simon and Garfunkle (snicker garfunkle). The title of the previous chapter was the title to one of their songs. I have weird tastes in music. I listen to both Elton John and System of a Down. Sometimes at the same time (but not really).**

**Shout-outs! I love everyone who reviewed more than the people who didn't.**

**Pyro Lady- Thanks for being my one steady reviewer on this story. I think I have the beginning of some sort of plot in my head. I don't know, we'll see.**

**Crash Kitty- Yes! I got one lurker out of lurking! You have no idea how happy this makes me. And there is a little Piotr here. Not much, but it's there.**

OOO

The click of Pyro's lighter and the furious scribbling of Piotr's pencil were the only sounds in the room. The pair was bored beyond all reason. Not that that was new; the Acolyte base was full of boredom. They had often complained about the state of boredom, but Magneto's only response was to buy them a TV and tell them to leave him alone. For a time, they had enjoyed the TV, but even that quickly became boring. So, they were bored.

Piotr looked up from his drawing for a moment and realized something.

"Vhere is Remy?" he asked.

"Dunno, but 'e was actin' really weird. Maybe the aliens abducted him and replaced him with a clone!" John replied excitedly, making his lighter's flame act out Remy's abduction.

"I doubt it," Piotr remarked over John's space ship noises.

"Yeah, me too," John replied with a grin.

OOO

"So if I'm in your body, and you're in your body, what's happening to my body?" Magneto wondered aloud.

_(It's probably sleeping somewhere,) _Remy remarked dully. The adrenaline rush of the last couple of hours had worn off, and having someone else control his body had grown old a long time ago. He wanted nothing more than to have everything back to normal.

"Yes, I suppose you're right," Magneto sighed.

OOO

Gambit wasn't right. Not by a long shot.

To exact his revenge to the fullest, Mastermind had stolen Magneto's body and turned it in to the FBI, telling them that Magneto was in a coma and putting a nice hazy cocoon around their thoughts so they didn't question him. Gambit and Magneto could have found this out had they turned on a TV and watched for five seconds, but they were too busy with the body-swapping problem.

Pyro and Colossus had stopped watching TV a long time ago. It was too boring.

OOO

**Wasn't that short? Well, it will END if you don't review! I feel like I'm being mean, but my muse is dying from lack of reviews! Help me!**

**Disclaimer: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose.**


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